So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
