HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
