so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
