i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up under a house in Key West
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
