Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
