I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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