The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
