I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This beer is not sobering me up at all
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
