So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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