so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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