so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
