Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
