i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
