i just google imaged poop.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
