just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
