i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my mouth tastes like poor choices
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
