Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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