youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize