First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
