I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
