I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
