I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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