shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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