All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
