She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
