How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
