I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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