dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
