I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
