Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
