I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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