then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There's always time for handjobs
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
