gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
