her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
