the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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