what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
