Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the day after is always just damage control
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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