Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i love accidental penises.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
