Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Randomize
