i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
