if only i could text you this smell
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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