NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
