i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
