so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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