Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
