More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
