I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
