I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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