that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
