I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
