highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
as a side note pls kill me
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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