Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
