I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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