so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
