it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
