you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
