yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i believe in u and ur pee
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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